Nooks Krannie

sad insults

cashmere and sad insults is the theme of our ikea bed sheets
i single handedly destroyed my mustache with ur grandmother’s razor.
i say, “oh fuck, the hamster’s ded”
u say, “exercise is a form of mind control”
government fucks us because we’re addicted to sex and
about our assholes riding tin cans, cutting assholes
on tin cans, mermaids fucking
under the sea.
it’s disturbing how ariel is lacking an ass and still
desired by porn addicts worldwide.

i want to seem cool and fit in with millennials cuz u say they’re just like
me i think that’s an oxymoron.
my mustache is shaved so i guess i’m not trending.

after i say oh fuck, u take the dead hamster in ur hands, limp
body and clogged arteries protruding in ur face. i never experienced a lack of sexual organs
before it makes my stomach flatter and my boobs feel like a set of
disappointed paragliders. i’m gonna have cake.

i think about ur grandmother and how her barn cat
showed u his penis once and i secretly wonder if it turned u on.
ur grandmother insists u eat ur broccoli fried in tubs of lard.
i think she worries about ur sexuality in terms of feline desire.

i think i’m less sexual than ur grandmother’s barn cat.

i think i’m sexual only in my chromebook in a .docx  doc cuz
holding in pee
and releasing after a long time gives me an orgasm i think
millennials judge and question my millenniality i fucked up
and shaved ur dead hamster so u stop asking me to
shave my pussy.

we bury ur dead hamster in ur grandmother’s backyard
death makes me horny i feel ikea could
replace god this millennia
i say, “oh fuck”.


Nooks Krannie is a girl and poet. She is half Persian/half Palestinian and full human. Her first chapbook I have hard feelings & I wish I could quit chocolate was published by Moloko House Press in 2016 and her second chapbook candied pussy is forthcoming from Thistlemilk Press. She tumbls at  and instagrams @nookskrannie.