inadequacy is a leech / impossible to remove completely / in, through, my blood
my therapist used to fall asleep while I spoke to her / strands of stringy brown hair cascading across her wrinkled face / head bobbing slightly before it returned to its neutral position of pseudo-listening / attentive, polite / thank you for coming see you next week / $150
I apologize for taking up space / for speaking too much / the words I craft are mostly bullshit / I don’t want to be horrifically un-self aware / we all know that person
a constant drip of memory / loss of place / mom and dad are immigrants, they worked hard to achieve something / a dream, a job, a position, an existence / legitimacy / a purpose to justify uprooting / hours sifting paperwork / the residue of guilt festers
what am I even doing / writing? spoiled / I should learn arabic
two years after he hurt me / I received a text message / a curated apology / a curated list of reasons why and how, a curated list of solutions / therapy, a historical investigation / making amends / getting better, working through it
I’m so ill-equipped for confrontation / gentle, nice / I should have yelled / with time, I grow smaller
Sarah Sophia Yanni is a half Egyptian & half Mexican writer in Los Angeles. She is the author of ternura / tenderness (poetry chapbook, Bottlecap Press) and is currently pursuing an MFA from the CalArts School of Critical Studies. Find her at www.sarahsophiayanni.com.